we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
