I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
