Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Randomize
