physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Randomize
