I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
