My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
