chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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