used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Randomize
