you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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