My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Ketchup is God's man juice
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
