we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Randomize
