I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
