her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize