also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
