Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Randomize
