HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize