My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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