I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
