Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
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