We're facebook friends in real life
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Randomize
