so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
