I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
