i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
