This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
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