1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Randomize
