the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize