I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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