She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Randomize
