but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Come see our sink grown plant.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
