sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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