Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
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