If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Randomize
