super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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