yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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