I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
