He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Randomize
