just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
