He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
