Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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