About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
