I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
