it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
