a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
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