So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
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