If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
