this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Randomize
