Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
