Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Who wears a wallet chain?!
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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