is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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