Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
