I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
