where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
you will always have a special place in my vag
This is the prime rib incident all over again
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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