Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize