Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize