one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
