Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
You left your phone here
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